Counseling Adultery In The Church

(Where both spouses are in church)

1. Prayer

Each spouse should seek daily time before God in prayer, reading the Scriptures and asking Him for the ability to grow in Christ-like attitudes and actions.

2. No Contact

The unfaithful spouse must have no contact whatsoever with the third party. Like an addiction, the only way out is to go cold turkey.

3. Commitment

The unfaithful spouse must be willing to make a radical commitment to regain the trust that has been broken.

4. New Lifestyle

The unfaithful spouse should commit to a lifestyle of transparency and honesty. Remind him/her that there is no area that is off limits for inquiry.

5. Forgiveness

The faithful spouse should commit to the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness will be a multi-layered journey and the person will need to make daily decisions to continue the process.

6. Reconciliation

Explain to the couple that forgiveness is required but reconciliation is conditional. Reconciliation is based on true remorse and repentance. While the Bible never commands divorce and many do stay together and heal, some may never be able to work through the brokenness.

7. Wise Counsel

The couple will need to commit to working with a counselor who can help them evaluate the communication patterns that may have contributed to the affair.

Source: Tim Clinton, AACC

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